


Never Knew

by nkurth31



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M, athletic trainer AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-21
Updated: 2013-07-19
Packaged: 2017-12-12 14:01:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/812370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nkurth31/pseuds/nkurth31
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex stares at the email in disbelief. The blue and Green header the logo in the corner this is from the Vancouver canucks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story please be nice. More chapters may be coming depending on the reactions to this one

Alex stares at the email in disbelief. The blue and Green header the logo in the corner this is from the Vancouver canucks. 

 

Dear Mr. Burrows,

We are pleased to inform you that you have surpassed the criteria set by our staff to be an intern with our accredited Sports Medicine Team. Please expect a phone call later this week to secure details about flight and living arrangements we look forward to working with you.  
Mike Burnstein

 

Alex is a ball of emotions but he doesn’t know which one should come out first. It happens to be raw joy he jumps up out of his chair knocking it over. His whole body is reeling all because of an email. Then his phone rings, and he runs to the kitchen to answer it. It’s someone from internal relations in the canucks organization. 

“Hello I’m looking for Alex Burrows?” a female voice asks  
“this is” he manages to stutter back hoping his English is ok. After a long conversation and many notes scribbled furiously on sticky notes Alex hangs up. He lets his mind wander as he’s getting ready for bed. They said he would be staying with a player as part of a new program to promote trust and respect between players and the staff. It’s probably going to be a rookie he thinks to himself as he slides under the covers.

***********

Ryan gets a call From IR around 5 that night asking if he is still willing to participate in the roommate program and he of course agrees. He’d never admit it but his apartment always seems too big for him and this is the perfect excuse for him to fill it. She tells him that his roommate Alex will be arriving in 2 weeks and give Ryan his flight number and arrival time.

***********

Alex can’t believe this is happening as his flight to Vancouver lands but then he goes into full panic mode. They didn’t tell him the address of the place he was staying at how is he supposed to get there? Should he call Jill? No they’ll think you can handle yourself. What started off as slight nerves has gone from butterflies in his stomach to angry birds. He tries to walk calmly to get his baggage but he can’t help but feel like everyone can tell how lost he is. When he finally gets his two suitcases and his duffle he can’t help the fear gripping him as he looks around for something anything that might tell him where to go. Then he turns and almost runs into someone. “I’m sorry” he apologizes profusely as he adjusts the strap on his duffle looking anywhere but at this person’s face. “Are you Alex burrows?” the stranger ask making Alex’s head snap up and now he wishes he hadn’t, because this is no stranger this is Ryan Kesler. Alex can feel his eyes go wide and his legs turn to jelly when Ryan smiles at him and holds out his hand. “Hi I’m Ryan I’m gonna be your roommate”. Alex drops his duffle which also knocks over one of his rolling suitcases he burns crimson as he tries to pick them up. Ryan grabs his duffle and slings it over one of his powerful shoulders and also grabs one of Alex’s suitcases. “I’m parked this way” he says using his head to motion towards one of the doors and starts walking, as he does Alex can’t help but to let his eyes be drawn to the sway of his hips and the tantalizing way Ryan fills out his jeans.  
Once they get all of his stuff stowed in Ryan’s trunk he awkwardly climbs into the passenger seat but again burns crimson when his stomach growls. Ryan smiles warmly at him “we can stop for something on the way I haven’t gotten a chance to go shopping this week.” He says looking at Alex. “Umm yes that would be nice” he manages to say cringing at how thick his accent is. “Great, what would you like?” Ryan asks pulling out of the airport parking lot. Alex knows he’s blushing and turns to look out the window trying to calm down “whatever you’d like” he manages to choke out.

Ryan pulls up by a pizza place and they get out and order a pizza to go. Ryan is asking Alex questions about where he went to school and Alex can’t help but go into more details on these questions, but he notices as he’s talking Ryan’s smile is getting bigger. “Why are you smiling?” he asks “I knew I could get you talking” Ryan says his tone full of confidence.

Alex catches himself staring at Ryan again as they get into the elevator to his apartment and shakes him head like he can erase the image of Ryan’s perky ass from memory. Alex is beat from the flight and after he is shown his room strips down to his boxers and falls onto the bed not even bothering to crawl under the covers. He passes out wrapped tightly around his body pillow.

***********

Ryan knocks gently on Alex’s door and slowly opens it, he smiles when he sees him clinging to a pillow. His eyes roam over his pale skin and down the clean lines of his body wondering what is would be like to run his hands over those lean muscles. He struggles to bring himself back to reality as he quietly pads across the room and pulls a blanket over Alex’s sleeping form. He looks back as he closes the door smiling as he mumbles something in French in his sleep.

 

He decides to make dinner he tries to convince himself that it’s because he doesn’t know what Alex would want if he ordered takeout but he can’t lie to himself it’s because he wants to impress Alex. The problem is he has very limited cooking skills, so he finds an easy rice recipe online. Just as he finishing up Alex stumbles sleepily into the kitchen and leans on the island watching him. Ryan can’t help but notice how his sweatpants hang low on his hips and when he stretches a strip of skin is visible above his boxers.  
*************************

Alex can’t help but to watch Ryan cook, he moves around the kitchen so carefully but his eyes keep coming back to Alex. He never blushes or anything when Alex catches him either just gives him a cheeky smile and goes back to whatever he was doing. He’s still trying to get over the fact that he’s going to be living with Ryan Kesler in this huge apartment then he remembers that he has to pay rent and a place like this won’t be cheap. His heart clenches will he have to leave? “So umm what’s my share of the rent?” he asks. Ryan turns and looks at him with confusion clearly covering his face “why would you pay rent? I volunteered to let someone stay here.” Alex can’t help but to let out a sigh of relief escape his lips. Ryan just shakes his head and smiles at him before serving up dinner. 

During dinner Ryan asks Alex if he played any sports. He smiles and lists them but he feels his smile slip when he hesitantly adds hockey to the end of the list. Ryan seems really excited when he hears that but then frowns “you don’t seem happy about it” he says. Alex feels his stomach twist this isn’t something he wanted to talk about with anyone let alone Ryan. “I had a bad injury stopped playing” he says simply looking down at his food pushing it around with his fork. “Oh I’m sorry” Ryan says as he reaches over and touches his hand. The warm hand makes Alex relax and suddenly the whole story comes pouring out. 

“I was senior in high school playing for my school team when two players had me in the corner. I fell and one stepped forward to go for puck and stepped on my leg.” He can see Ryan visibly cringe at these words. “Cut my calf muscle almost to the bone, I had lots of surgeries go through lots of therapy. Team never visited me. After I could walk again they asked me if I want to do rehab for relearning how to skate, and I said no. have not played hockey since.” Alex’s voice is shaking towards the end but when he finishes he hears Ryan stand and walk around the table. Ryan is kneeling at Alex’s side and gently cups his face and turns it toward him “I am so sorry” he whispers and Alex can’t help but enjoy the way Ryan’s thumb brushes his cheek. Alex reaches towards Ryan and is ecstatic when Ryan envelops him in a hug.

Something about the warmth and strength of Ryan’s arms brings Alex to his knees. Every wall he has ever built comes crashing down, he tries to hold back his tears but a small whimper escapes his lips. Ryan looks at him and pulls him closer rubbing lazy circles on his back. When they pull apart Alex notices that Ryan looks just as awkward as he feels. They walk to the living room and Ryan suggests Alex pick a movie. He sits awkwardly on Ryan’s couch flipping through movie options his leg bouncing nervously. Suddenly Ryan’s hand is on his knee and it’s like Alex’s brain just shuts down. He’s staring into Ryan’s eyes trying to memorize the color and the intensity of the stare he’s getting. He gasps when Ryan slowly moves his thumb; Alex had forgotten that his hand was still there. “Calm down I don’t bite” Ryan says and Alex can feel himself blush when he thinks I wouldn’t mind if you did. During the movie Alex gets cold and can’t help but to gravitate towards the warmth that radiates off Ryan.

 

He wakes up to a warm hand on his shoulder shaking him gently. He jerks awake when he realizes that he fell asleep cuddled up to Ryan. He looks up into Ryan’s face and feels so happy when he sees the warm smile that he apparently caused. “Should probably go to bed now” Ryan says with a yawn his muscles flexing. Alex has to force himself to sit up and stretch, but he can’t help but to notice that Ryan watches him. He tries to act natural when he stands up to go to his room “good night” he says to Ryan before he walks away. “Good night Alex” and Alex shivers at the way he says his name like it’s something important that he doesn’t want to forget.

***************

Lying in his bed that night Alex can’t stop the thoughts of Ryan from slipping into his thoughts. He’s absently stroking his hands up and down his abs as he thinks. Then his minds wanders off but not very far, he wonders what it would feel like if Ryan were the one with his hands on him. He feels himself stir as he lets himself dwell on the thought. His hand dips down into his boxers, fingers gently brushing over his growing erection. His eyes close as he imagines Ryan there with him watching and touching him, running his rough hands down Alex’s chest, he can’t help but moan. He cums embarrassingly quickly spilling over his hand and a whisper soft moan leaves his lips Ryan. He clumsily cleans himself off before falling into a deep sleep plagued with Ryan and that damn perky ass.

 

The next morning he wakes up to the smell of coffee, and he gets up and walks towards the kitchen. Ryan is leaning on the kitchen island nursing his coffee his eyes still blurry from sleep as he looks out the window in the living room. “Morning” he says his voice still abnormally low from sleep. Alex should get an award for the self-restraint he uses to control his urge to wrap Ryan in a hug and kiss his temple.


	2. I'll Take Care of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just story building fluff. some more awkward Ryan Alex interactions.

It’s been 3 weeks since Alex moved in and Ryan can’t help but notice that Alex doesn’t seem to be opening up at all. He eats meals with Ryan but he seems so scared and endearingly awkward when they talk. Alex stumbles over his words and Ryan can hear him listening to English tapes at night. It makes him feel like a failure because he is supposed to be introducing Alex to Vancouver.

“Hey Alex, wanna go out tonight?” Ryan asks as he sits down on the couch by Alex. His head pops up from his book and he looks adorable as he chews on his pen pondering. “ummm where would we be going?” he asks tilting his head and arching an eyebrow. Ryan’s mind goes completely blank all he can think of is the gentle curve of Alex’s lips and the way he wishes he could kiss those perfect lips.

**********

“umm Ryan?” Alex asks feeling his cheeks turn pink under Ryan’s intense eyes. He’s been getting better at hiding his obvious crush on Ryan but sometimes he entertains the idea that maybe Ryan’s looks mean more than they probably do. He can’t help but smile as Ryan snaps back to reality “we could meet Kevin and Max at the Cactus Club” he says with a shrug.   
Alex has to fight down the panic that rises in his throat and threatens to spill out in word vomit. CALM DOWN YOU'RE GONNA MEET THEM EVENTUALLY! THEY'RE TOTALLY GONNA TELL THAT YOU HAVE A TOTAL CRUSH ON RYAN THEY WONT WANT YOU TO WORK WITH THEM BECAUSE OF IT!

“Alex, earth to Alex” Ryan is waving his hand playfully in front of him. “Yes umm yes we can go if you want to” Alex says looking down at his hands. “Awesome they're gonna be so excited to meet you!” Ryan says jumping off the couch to go and get ready. Alex slowly drags himself to his room and sits on his bed staring blankly into his closet. “Can’t decide what to wear?” Ryan says walking into the room looking stunning in something as simple as jeans and a dark blue button down. He just nods as Ryan goes over to the closet and starts digging. 

“Well were just meeting the guys so jeans will be fine” Ryan is mumbling to himself. Alex is shamelessly staring at Ryan’s ass as he’s digging through his dresser looking for a pair of jeans. He apparently finds a pair he likes because he playfully throws them at him and walks back towards the closet. “Now do we go light with the shirt or dark?” he hears Ryan muttering.  
Ryan can’t help but imagine what Alex looks like in all of these shirts, his fingers trailing over the fabric. He finds a perfect one a light grey button up and when he turns around to hand it to Alex he stops with his eyes wide. Alex is pulling on his jeans and Ryan’s breathe catches in his throat as his eyes move over the muscles of his exposed back. When Alex turns around the blush that creeps up his cheeks and neck is enough to make Ryan’s heart race.

“oh I haven’t worn that in a while” Alex says reaching for the shirt that Ryan had forgotten in his hand. When he passes it to Alex their hands brush and he feels a blush creep up his cheeks. Ryan loves how happily Alex chats as they drive downtown. But when they walk into the bar Alex goes silent beside him and is suddenly walking a step behind him.

Kevin and Max are sitting in a booth and Ryan hurries over hoping Alex will start acting like his Alex again. The whole time Alex is sitting in the booth he is leaning so far into the padding it’s like he is trying to disappear. But then Max starts speaking to Alex in French. Ryan is biting the inside of his mouth in his frustration because suddenly the Alex sitting next to him is now animated and smiling. He is chattering happily and gesturing, and Ryan has never hated Max but right now it’s bubbling just under his skin. 

Kevin kicks him under the table and nods his head towards the bar and Ryan grudgingly follows him. “What is wrong with you?” Kevin asks as he orders more beers. “nothing” he snaps and grabs a beer and turns towards the booth but what he sees makes him grip his beer so tightly he fears it will break. Alex is standing up from the booth and the look on his face is sadness and fear. Ryan walks over to him “Alex what’s wrong?” he says grabbing his arms. “I wanna go home……I’ll….I’ll take the bus. You…..you can stay.” Alex’s eyes are scared and panicked and Ryan feels his heart clench “no we can go home” he says trying to sooth him.

*******

Once they get home Alex all but runs to his room and shuts the door. He’s sitting on the floor his head against the door. He can’t stop thinking about what Max said. So you like Ryan huh? Alex had never met Max before and he could tell. If he tells Ryan he will kick Alex out, and if he tells the organization they will probably fire him. He will never get another job in the NHL again worse than that he might never see Ryan again.

He can hear Ryan knocking on the door trying to talk to him but Alex just covers his ears. It takes almost 2 hours for Ryan to go to bed. Alex is listening for the soft thump of Ryan’s door at the end of the hall. He opens his door and slowly walks to the bathroom in the dark and doesn’t turn on the light until he shuts the door. 

Looking at himself in the mirror Alex can’t help the panic raising in his throat. He rushes to the toilet and is so busy throwing up the he doesn’t notice the door open and Ryan step in.

****

Ryan hears Alex’s door open and listens to him walk down the hall to the bathroom. It’s none of my business, Ryan thinks to himself. But as he’s lying there in his bed he hears Alex in the bathroom and then hears a crash and is scrambling to his feet and rushing down the hall. He slowly opens the door and his heart drops to the floor when he looks in and sees Alex on his knees in front of the toilet.

He walks over and lays his hand on Alex’s back “are you ok?” he asks rubbing gentle circles with his thumb. Alex doesn’t respond he just gives a pitiful whine and hangs his head lower; Ryan stands up and grabs a wet wash cloth and a big fluffy towel. He puts the cool wet cloth on the back of Alex’s neck and is rewarded with a happy sigh. “Come on Alex” Ryan says trying to slide the towel under his knees. 

Alex is obviously weak and leaning heavily against him and Ryan can’t help but to feel a wave of guilt at the pleasure he feels from getting to hold Alex like this. Then Alex turns his head and says “Ryan I’m tired” his bloodshot eyes pleading to be taking care of. “Come on let’s get you to bed” Ryan says pulling Alex up into his arms. Alex sags against him as Ryan walks him towards his room his head lolling against his shoulder. 

When they get to Alex’s room Ryan hands him shorts and a t-shirt and watches over him as he struggles to put them on. He helps Alex into bed and settles in the chair near the bed watches as he drifts off to sleep. Watching Alex wrapping his arms and legs around the ridiculous body pillow he brought with him, its large and overstuffed but he never sleeps without it. Ryan catches himself smiling as he hears Alex mumbling something in French as he clings tighter to the pillow. His head is drooping down to his chest as he falls asleep watching over Alex as he sleeps.

***

The next morning Alex wakes up confused in a backwards t-shirt. He sits up and jumps when he sees Ryan asleep in the arm chair in his room. He quickly dresses and goes to make coffee and tries to remember what happened last night. I must have had a panic attack he thinks to himself stirring more sugar into his coffee watching the tiny white grains disappear into the blackness in his cup. Why he was in my room why was he watching me last night?

A sound to his left causes his head to snap up and looks over, Ryan is standing there scrubbing his face like he can rub the sleepiness off it. Ryan smiles at him and goes to grab a cup and coffee and settles down on the stool next to him. Then Alex bursts out “about last night I’m so sorry I have panic attacks and I do stupid things I’m so so sorry it won’t happen again I promise” he keeps his head down waiting for something to happen. When Ryan sets his coffee cup down he feels his whole tense waiting for the other shoe to drop. Ryan lays a comforting hand on his shoulder “its ok I was just worried about you and I’m glad you're ok” he says. Alex’s whole body relaxes and he smiles up at Ryan and when Ryan smiles back he feels his grin get even bigger.


	3. Promises

The offseason is drawing to a close and Alex timidly walks into the living room to ask Ryan a question. He just stands there in the archway watching Ryan as he is engrossed in his crime show marathon. Alex clears is throat “umm Ryan?” he says feeling bad for interrupting Ryan. Ryan looks up at him with a smile “yeah Alex what’s up?” he asks turning off the TV.

Alex allows himself a moment of happiness that Ryan turned off the TV to talk to him. “I need to go to the arena sometime this week to tour the facilities, and I was wondering if I could go with you the next time you work out?” he asks feeling like a teenager asking his parents for a ride to the rink because he can’t drive. “Yeah no problem, wanna go tomorrow?” Ryan asks him. Alex just nods and sits down on the couch as Ryan turns his weird crime show on again.

*************************************  
The next day Ryan is sitting in the kitchen waiting for Alex to come in so they can leave for the rink. Then Alex walks in and Ryan can’t help but to do a double take, he looks good, other than himself who else could make the canucks logo look that sexy. Alex is wearing a tight fitting long sleeved dark blue staff shirt with the canucks logo on the chest. He has to smile when he notices that Alex is wearing khaki cargo pants which make him seem too young for the job he’s taking. Honestly what is with athletic trainers and khaki pants no one looks good in them except for Alex apparently.

He smiles at Alex and can’t help but notice how the dark fabric stretched so nicely over the muscles of Alex’s arms and chest. His pale skin is a beautiful contrast against the dark color and then he notices the flush of color creeping up Alex’s cheeks. “Well we should get going” he says quickly grabbing his bag and heading out the door.

*************************************  
Alex follows Ryan to the front office to meet mike the head trainer, and he feels a little lost and vulnerable when Ryan walks away. Mike is nice and helps him fill out all the paperwork he needs to have signed and approved before he can get his pass into the locker room. When they finally snap the picture and give him his card Alex feels twenty times lighter, because this is actually happening. 

Mike gives him a tour of the whole arena starting at the press boxes and suites at the top and slowly making their way down to the lower levels where the players are working out. Ryan is in the weight room when they walk in and Alex has to smile at the wave he gives him, because it makes him look ridiculous since he’s in the middle of a squat.

They walk around the weight room and Alex gets introduced to all of the guys and they all seem extremely friendly and most stop their workouts to shake his hand or at least give him a happy smile. After he is introduced to all the players Mike takes him to the offices and shows him the one that he will be sharing with another member of the staff. 

Mike leaves him to settle in to his new office and then tells him that when he’s done he can wait for Ryan in the locker room. Once the door shuts he walks around the office and decides to check out his coworker’s desk. What he sees makes him smile and hope swell in his chest. The man he is sharing his office has a few pictures proudly displayed on his desk. One is of him on his wedding day both he and his husband are smiling brightly. The next one is of him and his husband holding a baby girl wearing a party hat in front of a bright pink birthday cake.

Alex is so excited about his discovery, the anxiety about how the organization would react to his sexuality is gone and he practically skips to the locker room. After a few wrong turns and having to ask Roberto for directions he finds it and walks in ready to sit and wait for Ryan. Max and Kevin are just walking out when he opens the door. They both smile at him and seem to have no misgivings about the other night. “Hey sorry you had to leave early the other night” Kevin says holding the door for him “you should come to my place this weekend” Max adds “we’re gonna have a horror movie marathon!” he says looking way too excited. Alex agrees and then steps into what seems like an empty locker room.

He frowns and looks around searching for Ryan; he spots his bag sitting in his stall so he can’t have left yet. Alex decides to explore the locker room a little since he has time. He finds the equipment storage room and the room with the ultrasound machines along with some really nice massage equipment. Then he walks through another door into the showers and his heart doesn’t know whether to explode or just stop beating. Ryan is showering and all Alex can think is that photo shoot did not do his body justice.

The water is pounding down on his powerful shoulders, and Alex’s eyes follow the droplets down his back and over his ass. Alex has been shamelessly sneaking peaks at Ryan’s ass since he arrived in Vancouver but this is a totally different experience. Then Ryan turns around under the spray of water to face Alex. Thankfully his eyes are closed as his fingers massage his scalp creating a rich lather, but Alex’s eyes don’t linger on Ryan’s hair for very long. 

His eyes are drinking in Ryan’s body like they are dying of thirst trying to memorize every contour every curve. Alex blushes as he eyes find Ryan’s semi hard cock but he can’t will his eyes to move. Then he hears a noise that does make his heart stop, Ryan clears his throat. Alex feels his skin burn with his embarrassment and he quickly looks to the floor and wishes he could just slip down the drain. 

“What are you doing in here?” Ryan asks sounding confused taking a step towards him. “I umm was waiting for you……but I was looking…….for you……..and ummm I guess…” Alex stutters not looking at Ryan even when he hears him grab a towel. “Well it looks like you found me” Ryan says his voice soft non-accusatory, “but I have a question” he says moving even closer to Alex “did you like what you saw?”

Alex looks up and Ryan is just staring back at him his question hanging in the air like steam. Alex figures there’s no point in lying anymore if Ryan wants to kick him out its ok at least he tried. He swallows and nods, he tries to read his face as Ryan takes another step towards him. He closes his eyes and flinches expecting a blow but what happens next almost knocks him off his feet.

Ryan’s lips crash into his strong enough to bruise. Alex’s eyes fly open in surprise but soon close as he lets the bliss from the kiss wash over him. Ryan has one hand cradling the back of his head and the other resting on his hip pulling him closer. The wet heat from Ryan’s body is soaking Alex and he can’t fight back the needy moans that are bubbling up as Ryan kisses down his neck. “Ryan Ryan Ryan” he babbles his hands searching for purchase on Ryan’s back. He can feel him smirk against his neck as he’s forced to lean more against Ryan because his knees are going weak.  
******************************

Ryan can’t help himself Alex looks so scared when he realizes that Ryan is watching. He has to make him feel happy again, like he looked when Ryan first noticed him in the doorway. “Did you like what you saw?” Ryan says not feeling nearly as confident as he sounds. Alex won’t even look at him, Ryan can feel his heart hammering as he watches and waits for Alex’s reaction. When he nods Ryan feels his heart leap and he has to get closer to Alex.

Now with Alex pressed against him he’s happier than he can ever remember being. The way Alex whimpers and clings to him makes him want to hold and protect him keep this sweet Alex all for himself. He lets the hand on Alex’s hip drift down to his ass and the noise Alex makes goes straight to Ryan’s dick. Ryan pulls back and Alex whines trying to lean in for more kisses. “Maybe we should go home” he pants kissing along his jaw. 

**************************

Alex has to keep reminding himself to breathe while he’s waiting for Ryan to dress. His erection is rubbing against the fabric of his boxers and it is definitely not helping in this situation. He’s squirming and FINALLY Ryan is ready to go. 

He’s jittery once they get into Ryan’s car, his legs bouncing and twisting his hands in his lap. Ryan reaches over and grabs his hand; the feeling of Ryan’s large calloused hand calms him. “You ok Alex?” he asks and Alex can only nod afraid to speak. Once they get home Alex’s anxiety skyrockets again, his heart is pounding and suddenly he’s feeling light headed.

********************************

Ryan hangs up his keys and turns around to see Alex leaning against the counter looking ghostly pale. “Alex what’s wrong? Alex!” he’s panicking now as he rushes over to him. Alex’s breathing is short and shallow and his eyes are fearful. Ryan wraps his arms around Alex and feels him trembling. “Shhh babe I’ve got you its ok” Ryan says kissing softly along his hairline his hands gently massaging Alex’s back. His breathing is ragged and is slowly turning into sobs.

Ryan leads him over to the couch and Alex just falls into his arms. He hasn’t stopped crying and Ryan’s panic is only rising. “Alex please tell me what’s wrong, what did I do?” he asks. Alex looks up at him his eyes still tear filled “non you didn’t do anything…….you’re so nice.” Ryan’s panic is replaced with confusion which must show on his face because Alex answers “my my……. Last boyfriend……he he would… hit me…..and he yelled.” 

His confusion suddenly turns to rage, someone had hurt Alex, his sweet innocent Alex had been abused. No wonder he had panic attacks and cries out in his sleep. Then Ryan thinks of how he flinched before he kissed him in the showers today. Ryan cradles Alex to his chest whispering to him promising to keep him safe. He makes a promise not only to Alex but to himself no one will ever hurt him again Ryan is going to make sure of that.


	4. Coitus interruptus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been lazy about writing this

Alex is calming down tucked safe against Ryan’s chest, breathing in the smell of Ryan’s cologne and the detergent they use. Ryan shifts and Alex whines and snuggles closer fisting Ryan’s shirt. His eyelids feel heavy as he leans his head against Ryan’s chest, and is only slightly aware of the fact that he’s being carried.

When Alex wakes up he’s not sure where he is but he can tell it’s not his bedroom. He opens his eyes and smiles when he sees Ryan looking back at him. Their legs are tangled together and Ryan’s arms hold Alex close to his chest. He notices how tired Ryan looks and frowns “you need more sleep” and moves to get up but Ryan’s arms tighten around him. “Please don’t go” he says “I’d sleep better with you here anyway” Alex’s heart leaps and he snuggles back against Ryan nuzzling into his neck and sighing happily. 

He runs his hands along the soft fabric of Ryan’s shirt starting near his neck and sliding it down his chest to the smooth planes of his abs. Ryan’s breath hitches as Alex gently traces his abs with skilled fingers memorizing the mountains and valleys of muscle. Suddenly Ryan grabs his hand and slowly pulls it lower bringing Alex’s attention to his erect penis. “You’re such a tease” Ryan gasps as Alex decides that it’s more fun to trace patters on Ryan’s hips than play with his dick. 

***************************************************

Having Alex’s hands on him has Ryan hotter than a teenager watching his first porno. He tries to pull Alex’s hand down to his needy member but Alex decides that torture is more fun than pleasure. He whines in the back of his throat as Alex’s hand brushes over his cock again. “Too many clothes” Ryan moans pulling at Alex’s shirt and groaning in frustration, but it turns into a whine when Alex scoots back and stops touching him. 

He watches as Alex sheds his shirt and wiggles out of his pants and boxers before he gets an impish look in his eyes and crawls seductively across the bed towards Ryan. His voice comes out as a purr as he kisses along Ryan’s neck “I had a poster of you in my dorm used to jerk off looking into your eyes”. Ryan digs his fingers into the comforter trying to calm himself down. “Why?” he manages to ask as he’s ripping off his clothes looking Alex in the eye. “I like your stare so intense, so sexy” Alex is straddling him now rolling their hips together. In one swift move Ryan flips them over so he’s hovering over him and kisses him hard. Alex moans against his lips and ruts forward seeking friction.

Then Ryan hears a knock on the front door. Alex looks towards the door “no just ignore it they’ll go away” Ryan says leaning down to lay a searing kiss on Alex’s lips. He cringes as the knocking continues and then he hears Kevin’s voice “Ryan I know you're in there I heard your phone ring!” “Why does God hate me?!” Ryan moans rolling off and starting to dress. He smiles as Alex looks just as disgruntled as he does. Ryan yanks open the door to see Kevin’s smirking face “nice hair” he jeers and walks into the apartment followed by Max carrying a takeout bag. “I hate you so much right now” Ryan growls as he shuts the door and when he turns around Kevin is grinning evil “Kes I've been cock blocking you since you were at OSU”


End file.
